Birthday Depression: How to Conquer It Like a Boss

Birthday Depression

My birthday is this month. And it’s a big one. I’m not getting my driver’s license, getting permission to drink, or even ringing in a new decade for that matter.

It’s just a normal, run-of-the-mill birthday to an outsider.

But it’s a big deal to me just the same.

All of my birthdays are big deals. And so are yours, whether you even realize it or not. Each one is a unique opportunity to spend another year living the life you were intended to.

So why do some people head into a tailspin as soon as their birthday starts approaching? Have you noticed that?

Birthday depression is a legit thing. Many people feel some sort of birthday blues as they age. But some people actually slip into a lasting depression because of their birthday, and their pain is real.

So why does this happen to some people and not others?

Why does it happen to certain people some years and not others?

And what does birthday depression even look like?

Birthday Depression Symptoms

The symptoms of birthday depression are similar to the symptoms of other types of depression that you may be familiar with. These may include:

1. Feeling sad and hopeless
2. Exhaustion and lack of energy
3. Change in sleep patterns
4. Change in appetite
5. Change in sex drive
6. Loss of interest in activities
7. Lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities
8. Increased anxiety
9. Increased irritability
10. Trouble concentrating

I’m not a doctor by any means, but the following are some of the symptoms specific to birthday depression that I’ve seen in the people closest to me who struggle around the time of their birthdays:

1. Hating being the center of attention
2. Feeling unhappy about the birthday plans other people have made for you
3. Becoming fixated on the actual number of years you’ve been alive, especially when entering new decades
4. Experiencing intense loneliness because people around you have not remembered or properly acknowledged your birthday
5. Obsessing over the signs of aging (like weight gain, wrinkles, and grey hair)
6. Feeling as though you have nothing more to look forward to because all of the fun milestones are over
7. Focusing on all of the things that you “should” have done with your life by now but have not
8. Stressing out about your status at this point in your life (like being single, not having children yet, or qualifying for a senior discount)
9. Replaying past birthdays in your mind that were much better or far worse than this one
10. Worrying about your own mortality

How to Deal With Birthday Depression

Birthdays are supposed to be a celebration of the beautiful gift of life that you were once given. Each one marks another year that you are here on this Earth, living, learning, and growing.

So how can you deal with the birthday blues and live your best life in the process?

1. Remember That Your Birthday is YOURS

It’s entirely up to you to spend it any way you like. It’s not your partner’s day, your friend’s day, or even your mother’s day. So they should not have the final say on how you chose to celebrate (or not celebrate) it.

You are an adult. This is your life. You get to make all of the decisions on how you chose to live.

Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t wait to grow up so you could do whatever you wanted? Well, that time is now.

2. Let Yourself Feel Whatever You Need To

If you feel excited about your birthday, then shout it from the rooftops (or all over social media). On the other hand, if you feel annoyed, sad, disappointed, or angry that it’s your birthday, then that’s perfectly okay too.

You need to allow yourself to experience whatever feelings that you’re having. Mope around in your robe and watch sappy movies so you can cry your heart out if you want to.

But there needs to be a time limit. Once the time runs out, you can pick yourself back up and move on with life. Don’t let one day turn into weeks or months of grieving. And if you need professional help readjusting afterward, don’t be afraid to seek it out.

3. Clearly Communicate Your Birthday Wishes to Others

Remember, people around you are not purposely forgetting your birthday or failing to put in the effort to help you celebrate. We all get busy and forget about things that are important to us from time to time. Remind those closest to you that your birthday is coming up beforehand, and clearly communicate your birthday wishes to them.

Assuming that they can read your mind or giving them vague hints will never work. Tell them exactly what you would like the day to look like, so that you can drastically lower your chances of being disappointed.

4. Do Something That Makes You Feel Hot

Our bodies change as we age and often not for the better. If hitting another year has you down about your looks, do something productive about it instead of wallowing in despair over a bowl of ice cream. Have your wife wax your back, buy a killer new outfit, or enjoy a day of freshening up at a spa. Do something that makes you feel hot again.

You know deep down you still got it. Don’t let a silly number steal your mojo.

5. Update Your Bucket List

You still have plenty to live for no matter what age you are. A great way to remind yourself of this is to update your bucket list.

Even better, highlight a few items from your list that you want to accomplish before this year is up, and get out there and do them already. Bucket lists give you something to dream about, and you can only do that by admitting that you have so much life left to live.

The time is now to experience those adventures you keep putting off.

6. Make Your Bliss List

Instead of dwelling on what you should have done by this point in your life, focus on all of the amazing things you’ve already done instead. It’s called a bliss list, and it will help you realize just how incredible you already are.

You will be amazed at how many accomplishments and experiences you have already had and have simply forgotten about.

7. Celebrate This Period of Your Life

It’s part of the human experience to feel down about our phase in life from time to time. But you can reverse those thoughts and celebrate this period in your life when you put your mind to it.

Bummed about being single? You can wear pajamas all day long, get takeout from wherever you want, and control the remote without negotiating with anyone. And the only person making a honey-do list at your home is you.

Stressing about not having kids at your age? You can go to Target for fun without packing a diaper bag, getting spit up on, and having a diaper blowout happen the second you walk in the store. And you can stay in bed all night long with no one waking you up by crying every two hours.

Upset that you qualify for a senior discount and AARP? You get to spend all day playing and spoiling your grandkids and then just send them back. And you get discounts everywhere. Who doesn’t love a good discount?

The point is, there are pros and cons to every phase of life. Make a point to enjoy each one of them.

8. Let Past Birthdays Go By Reframing Them

No matter what happened on past birthdays, stop allowing yourself to be so preoccupied with them. Every birthday is its own unique experience, and it’s one you should look forward to.

It’s another year you are alive, another year you have love in your life, and another year you get to experience this beautiful Earth and every gorgeous scene it has to offer.

All of the previous birthdays are over now, but you have been given the gift of another one. Use it wisely.

9. Face Your Own Mortality

You will die. We all will. It’s the unknown timing, cause, and leaving things undone that scares us the most. But spending your entire birthday engrossed in the idea of your own mortality is not healthy.

Today is a day to be happy. Today is a day to be with those we love. And today is a day to recognize just how unique we all are and how much each of us contributes to this world.

Like I said, my birthday is this month. And it’s a big one.

I’m not getting my driver’s license, getting permission to drink, or even ringing in a new decade for that matter.

It’s just a normal, run-of-the-mill birthday to an outsider.

But it’s a big deal to me just the same.

I’ve made the choice to be happy about it. And you can too.

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How do you feel about your birthday this year? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.