How to Get Unstuck in Work and Life

Feeling Stuck in Life

Do you ever just feel stuck? Like your whole life is just one never-ending day after another, going from one obligation to the next to the next? Like you have so many things that you have to do, but absolutely no time to do anything that you want to do.? Like you have no idea what the point of all of this is anyways?

It is so easy to feel like this nowadays. We work too much. We accept invitations out of obligation too much. We make ourselves available by phone, texting, email, and social media too much. We buy oversized houses that need to be maintained too much. And we over-schedule our children in activities too much. It is no wonder why our entire lives start to feel like they are just too much.

The bad news is that we are doing this to ourselves. But the good news is that we can fix it at any time.

How to Get Unstuck at Work

We are the ones putting the pressure on ourselves to work so many hours. We are the ones worrying about getting fired. We are the ones stressing out about not performing well enough. We are the ones comparing our successes and failures with others. We are the ones obsessing about getting that next promotion. And we are the ones checking our work email at all hours of the night.

We have all had bosses that are demanding. But have you ever had one that explicitly told you that you would be fired if you did not immediately respond to an email at 9:30 at night? Have you ever had a boss say that you must make another sale by the end of the day, or they would blacklist you with every company in the entire state? Have you ever had a boss tell you that you had better not take a single day off or else? On the off chance that you said yes to any of these questions, you really need to read my post When You Hate Your Toxic Job So Much It Makes You Sick.

Otherwise, all of this intense pressure to perform is coming from you, my friend. It is hard to admit it, I know. My family tells me that I am not just a type-A personality, but a type A+. So I definitely feel your pain. I will overwork myself to the point that I finally just collapse on the couch and simply can’t get up. I’m a work in progress too.

We need to stop doing this to ourselves.

We need to save up an emergency fund and then an FU fund and never stress out about work again because we have taken control of our finances and purchased our freedom. Once we do this, a job loss will no longer be an emergency, and we will not feel stuck at work anymore.

Then, we will have the power to take a lateral move or even step down to a less demanding position. Then, we will have the power to negotiate to work remotely. Then, we will have the power to go part-time. And then we will never feel stuck at work again.

How to Get Unstuck in Life

So what about all of the others hours in your day? You know, your actual life.

I can tell you with confidence that this area of your life can be changed significantly more quickly than your job situation can. Learn to say no. It is as simple as that.

When you get asked to volunteer yet again at your kid’s school, say no and let someone else do it for a change.

When you get a dinner invitation and you just don’t want to go, say no and don’t feel the need to make up an excuse.

When your phone is beeping notifications incessantly, say no and don’t even look at it. Better yet, turn all of the notifications off.

When your real estate agent tries to show you a house at the top of your budget, say no and pad your FU fund instead.

When your kid wants to sign up for ballet, soccer, track, and martial arts say no. Kids need to hear the word no and often. You do not owe them everything they think they want.

Now that you have learned the art of saying no, you can spend your free time completing the last important step in becoming unstuck in life.

Finding Your Purpose

In order to feel unstuck in your life, you need to know your why. Why am I going to work each day? Why am I living in this house in this city? Why am I spending my free time this way? Why am I with this partner?

Our pasts influence our presents constantly, whether we realize it or not.

I was abused as a child by a family member. I kept it quiet for a long time because I was threatened and told time and time again that no one else wanted or loved me until I finally believed it.

During my teenage years, I started my life-long commitment to volunteering my time regularly. I have participated in fundraisers for local schools, I have served as a mentor to children, I have granted wishes for children and teens with life-threatening illnesses, I have been a trained note-taker for fellow students with learning disabilities, and I have served as a school board member. See a pattern yet?

It took me until my early thirties to figure out that I was spending all of my free time helping children in various ways. I was abused as a child, and now I help children. I didn’t even realize I was doing this for years, but now I know that helping children is my why. It gives meaning to my past and provides a reason as to why I had to experience that childhood.

It gives me a purpose.

If you have a purpose, you will never feel stuck. Instead, you recognize that everything you do is moving you towards your ultimate goal.

So now that you have freed up some time by learning to say no to over-committing yourself, spend some time thinking about your why. What is the most important thing to you and how can you spend your life achieving it? Set small, achievable goals and give your life purpose again.

Stuck in a boring job in a boring cubicle surrounded by boring people? No problem. Every day you are moving one step closer to paying off debt and becoming financially independent.

Feel like you are losing your identity as a stay-at-home parent who rarely gets adult interaction? No problem. Join a local parenting group or an online community and connect with other awesome parents who are raising their own children on their own terms. Be proud of the sacrifices you are making for your family.

Your why can be small and simple or it can be huge and difficult to achieve. It will be different for every one of us. But finding your purpose is exactly how to get unstuck in life.

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What’s your purpose in life? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.