Learning How to Stop Being Offended and Enjoy Your Life

Easily Offended

It seems like absolutely everywhere we look these days, someone is getting easily upset by something. People are ranting on their social media accounts, they are raging in the comments section of news articles, and they are demanding people get fired for making even the slightest misstep (even when the misstep in question took place years in that person’s past).

It is like we are all living in a constant state of judgment, where anyone is fair game, and it is our duty as a nation to call out anything that does not line up with our concept of perfection. Megan Markle was slammed for how she held her own baby, and Jessica Simpson was berated for allowing her daughter to dye her own hair. I mean, how dare these women go about living their own lives? Shouldn’t they have consulted us before making parenting decisions on their own? If only we could all be like Pink and respond by dying our daughter’s hair in solidarity against these mom shamers. The world would be a much happier, more relaxed place.

But then Dave Chappelle had to go and make a Netflix comedy special that mocked people and got everyone in an uproar. To be completely transparent, I have not seen Sticks & Stones, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that all comedians tell jokes that border on (or go way past) the line of what is considered socially acceptable as normal conversation. That is literally their job description. They are supposed to poke fun at things that would normally make us cringe. That is why they are so awesome because they help us relax and find the humor in life. Life is hard. We could all use more humor.

And don’t get me started on the Superbowl halftime show this year. Shakira and Jennifer Lopez performed their hearts out, but all you heard about for days afterward was how their show was offensively sexualized. Trust me, I get it. I am raising a young son and a daughter in a time when skin is always on display. It certainly isn’t easy, but it is up to me to determine when a show (or a movie or a song) is too adult for them. Not everything is intended for every audience and that is okay.

Here’s the deal. People used to go about their daily lives. We weren’t constantly connected to everyone else in the world at any given moment. You literally had to be in the same room as someone to get offended by them or at least to have heard something about that person second-hand. But now, we can sit back comfortably in our homes and judge others twenty-four hours a day seven days a week, because we are attached to smartphones, tablets, and computers almost every second of our lives.

It’s all-consuming, and since we all naturally think our way of living is the best, it leads us to think that everyone else is doing it all wrong. But this constant judging of others and getting offended over and over day after day is detrimental for both our mental and physical health.

We are causing so much undue stress on ourselves as we walk around in a heightened state just looking for reasons to get outraged.

Stop Being Offended

So here is what I propose. We need to choose to stop getting offended so easily.

We need to realize that we are giving our power away to others by allowing them to control our emotions.

We are wasting our own precious time worrying about what others are doing far too often.

When we are busy being outraged, we are gifting others our time and attention in exchange for our own peace of mind.

We are ignoring our own needs, and those of our families, and becoming obsessed with proving that our way is the right way.

So how do we make this shift?

Nearly every time I am online, I see miserable people known as internet trolls making disparaging remarks attempting to lure people into arguments. Whether they are making inflammatory political comments or making snap judgments about people based on their genders, ages, or sexual orientations, their self-appointed job is to trap people who get easily upset.

But guess what? You can see these ridiculous comments online and then just move on. Yep, I said it. You can move on.

When I see what I consider to be an absurd stance on something online, I think to myself ‘well, that person is obviously uninformed’ and then I just scroll right past it. I don’t get dragged into a debate, I don’t boil with rage, and I certainly don’t let them take away my peace. Even in the worst situations, I simply roll my eyes and call the person an idiot in my head, and then I move on.

The thing is, you will never convince anyone to see the error of his or her ways. People only change their minds when they are ready too. No amount of arguing with them will fix that.

Sadly, you will always find people in our very connected world who are racist. You will always hear comments that are homophobic. You will always find men who hate women and women who hate men. It’s not fair or right, but it is true.

You just have to choose to ignore them and move on.

I am in no way saying that you should not fight for the causes that you believe in. You should absolutely use constructive ways to make this world a better, more inclusive place for everyone. But volunteering your time with organizations, raising awareness in your community, and working with politicians to create new laws is a far better use of your time than screaming back and forth with strangers on the internet.

If the Megan Markles of the world do not hold their babies the way you would, don’t hold your own baby that way. If the Jessica Simpsons dye their daughter’s hair and you don’t like it, don’t dye your daughter’s hair. If the Dave Chappelles jokes are too over-the-top for you to enjoy, then simply stop watching. And if the Shakiras and Jennifer Lopezes dance too provocatively in your mind, don’t allow your children to watch it.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. If you have food, clean water, and safe shelter, you have every reason to feel at peace in life. Don’t give your peace away to every miserable internet troll online who is just waiting to steal your joy away from you.

You are the only one who can control your own emotions. You are the only one who can choose to see an offhand remark and then just move on. With a quick swipe of your finger, the offensive remarks can disappear out of your view. If you chose to let that happen.

It is up to you, and only you, to chose to keep your stress down, to keep your emotions in check, and to keep peace in your heart.

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How can you stop getting offended so often? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.