My Life is Falling Apart. Now What?

When Your Life is Falling Apart

Have you ever felt like absolutely everything in your life is falling apart? Like your life is one big, hot mess, and there is absolutely no way it’s ever going to get any better?

Your house is a disaster, your bank account is over drafted, you look awful and you have nothing to wear, your partner is driving you insane, and your job is the worst it’s ever been. Throw some kids into the mix and your stress level shoots through the roof exponentially.

It’s okay. We’ve all been there.

It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, single or taken, kid-free or an exhausted parent, unemployed or employed. Life is messy sometimes no matter what your current situation looks like.

What’s worse is that no one around you seems to get it, because your life looks like this perfect, filtered version to everyone else. And that’s exactly what makes you feel even more alone.

You’re going to think I’m crazy when I say this. But when your life is falling apart and nothing is going your way, it’s actually a huge gift.

I probably sound annoying and fake to you right now, but I’m not blissfully unaware of what real life is like.

I’ve been abused as a child, had a traumatic childbirth that almost killed me, been divorced, and been in a major car crash. My life straight-up sucks sometimes. But I’m still choosing to be happy anyways.

I’m just that stubborn. Take that world!

Here’s the thing. All of those experiences could have made me angry and bitter for life, but they actually taught me what it is that I want really want in the first place.

I no longer live the life that other people want for me. I live on my own terms. It’s time you start to do the same.

So when it feels like your life is falling apart, you need to slow down, take a deep breath, and realize that this utter melt-down you are currently experiencing is the perfect opportunity to examine what it is that you truly want.

Why is My Life Falling Apart

The most important thing you need to look at is why your life is falling apart in the first place.

1. Are you putting way too much pressure on yourself?
2. Are you neglecting to take breaks and make self-care a priority? Are you always the last person to get whatever is leftover at the end of the day?
3. Are you racing from one obligation to the next without any purpose? Do you even find joy in these activities in the first place?
4. Are you truly happy with your partner? Or are you staying in a relationship that hasn’t met your needs for a long time? Have you even put in the effort to make things great between the two of you?
5. Do you even like your job? Does it make you fill accomplished? Are you respected there? Are your skills and talents rewarded?
6. Are you raising appreciative kids or spoiling them rotten? Are they over-scheduled, tired, and stressed out themselves? Do they expect too much out of you, because you haven’t set enough limits with them?
7. Do you pay yourself first and save for the future? Have you educated yourself about personal finance so that you feel safe and secure? Or do you waste money on fees and frivolous shopping because it temporarily fills the hole in your life?

Answering these questions will help you realize what your life looks like at this very moment. And then you can decide if that picture is your dream come true or someone else’s vision entirely.

How to Put Your Life Back Together

So how can you put your life back together? First, ask yourself these ten important questions:

1. What makes me happy?
2. What makes me feel good about myself?
3. Which people in my life lift me up and encourage me?
4. Which people in my life pull me down and discourage me?
5. What have I given up about myself to please others?
6. How do I like to spend my time?
7. What have I already done that makes me proud of myself?
8. What do I still want to accomplish?
9. What steps can I take now to make my dreams a reality?
10. What kind of person do I want to be known as?

Once you have discovered the answers to these questions, it’s time to decide to take control of your life and be happy already. You’re the only one who can do it.

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Studies show that when you feel like you are in control of your own life, your level of happiness will increase.

So, are you living your life for yourself? Or are you just doing what everyone else wants you to do?

My whole life I was told I was going to college, so I went. I don’t regret going because I learned a lot from incredibly smart people, made friends, and had an awesome volunteer and social life. But I could have made a lot more money and started to work sooner if I had entered a trade or started my own business. I never made the decision myself. I just went because I was told to.

My whole life I was talked to about the wedding I would have someday and the kids that I would make. So I got married young and had kids. Again, I don’t regret any of it because I learned a ton of life lessons, and I created my two favorite people in the world. But sometimes I wonder if I really wanted to get married when I did, or if I just followed the path that was laid out for me.

And even more important than what I did do, was what I didn’t do. For a long time, other people’s expectations of me stopped me from doing what I really wanted to do.

For years, I dreamed about getting a Ph.D. and becoming a professor at a gorgeous ivy-covered campus somewhere. But people pushed me into public school teaching along the way, told me to put my dream off so I could work and save money first, and then they insisted I should hurry up and start a family because I was almost thirty. So it never happened.

For years I also dreamed about being a writer. I wrote some articles online, was published in a poetry journal, and even wrote a novel that I was just starting to pitch to publishers. But then I was told I could never put my work ahead of my two small children, and I could never leave them behind to go on any promotional tours. So I put my novel away, and I never published it.

Are you giving up a part of yourself to please others? I sure did for a long time.

But I don’t anymore.

Having one life-falling-apart moment after another is what taught me what kind of life I wanted for myself in the first place.

We are always growing, learning, and discovering new things about ourselves along the way. Our dreams change. We end up loving things we never thought that we would. But it’s important that we keep looking at our lives and take the time to make sure that we are doing things intentionally to live our best life. Not someone else’s.

I like tattoos and piercings, so I got several of them. My family doesn’t like them. I did it anyway because it’s my body.

I wanted to experience bungee jumping and sky diving. My family forbade me. I sneaked off and created memories that will never fade.

I wanted to meet new people and experience freedom after my divorce. My family wasn’t thrilled. I went out with fun new people and tried new things, and it helped me remember who I have always been.

And I decided to take the plunge and rediscover my love of writing. I even spent weeks thinking about the tagline of this website. And I realized that the whole purpose behind starting Blue to Bliss was to help people live freely and love their lives.

Now I want you to have the courage and freedom to go after whatever it is that you want out of life. And I want you to love every moment of your journey, as well.

Remember, this is your life. It will go by quickly. It will be messy at times. But it’s all yours. Never forget that.

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What’s holding you back from living your best life now? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.