How to Live Intentionally and Build a Life You Actually Want

Intentional Living

Have you ever noticed that you do a lot of things in your daily life that you don’t really want to be doing in the first place?

From completing a work project you absolutely hate to volunteering for yet another school event, mowing the lawn when it’s just going to grow back again within a few days anyway, and having dinner with your in-laws when all you really want to do is sit on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and binge watch some TV for once.

Whew! That was a mouthful, wasn’t it?

But that’s exactly what your adult life has begun to feel like. A mouthful of obligations you feel like you have to do, and very few things in your daily routine that you actually enjoy doing.

In fact, your metaphorical mouth is so full of obligations that you feel like you’ve been slowly choking for years, and you just can’t seem to clear your airway.

Well, I’m here to tell you from experience that intentional living can be the Heimlich maneuver you’ve been waiting for.

Intentional living is the choice to be in complete control and make decisions that will help you build a life you actually want. In other words, intentional living helps you stop giving your power away to others and refocus it on claiming your own wants and needs.

Are you ready?

What is Intentional Living

First, you may be asking yourself what intentional living is and how it can change your life for the better.

In its most basic element, intentional living is saying yes more often to things that do matter and saying no more often to things that don’t matter. Choosing to live intentionally means that you reflect on all of your thoughts and actions and decide whether or not they align with your core values.

So for example, let’s say that every morning, as part of your routine, you get dressed for work, and then you take a long look at yourself in a full-length mirror before heading out of the house.

While it sounds like a totally natural thing to do — you want to look professional and put together after all — you realize that in your head you always seem to notice that more grey hairs are sprouting on your head or that extra weight is gathering around your middle.

So now this totally natural action has turned into something that drains you emotionally and takes little pieces of your confidence away one sliver at a time.

With intentional living, you can decide how to change this habit into something that actually makes your life better and more fulfilling.

So you either decide to break your habit of looking in the mirror every morning altogether or even better, you intentionally decide to make this habit of yours serve you in a positive way.

And the next morning you look in the full-length mirror and start a new habit of saying a positive affirmation about yourself.

For example, “I look my very best today,” or “My healthy body is a gift.”

It doesn’t matter what your life looks like today. Anyone can start making intentional life decisions at any time. And when you truly look at what you’re doing and how you’re doing it, you’ll start to see little ways you can improve your entire life one intentional decision at a time.

How to Live Intentionally

There’s no secret formula when it comes to learning how to live intentionally. The most effective way to live intentionally is to understand what fulfills you and what drains you and rebalance your life so that you are left feeling happy and satisfied.

Here are 13 tips to help you start living intentionally today:

1. Discover Your Core Values

The first step in learning how to live intentionally is to discover your core values. Your core values represent who you are as a person and what it is that you believe in. Once you know what your core values are, you can start to make life decisions that honor these core values and eliminate behaviors and habits that dishonor these core values.

For example, if you discover that one of your core values is honesty, the next time someone invites you to do something that you don’t want to do, instead of making up a fake excuse to get out of it, you can make the intentional decision to be honest and admit that this activity is not something you would enjoy but you would be happy to spend time with this person at on another occasion.

2. Commit to Saying Yes

There are so many times in your life when you desire something deeply but you deny yourself the opportunity simply because you think that you don’t need it or don’t deserve it. Part of learning how to live intentionally is committing to saying yes to something when it’s what you truly want.

For instance, let’s say you come across an advertisement for a conference that you feel would really uplift and empower you. You really want to attend it, but you immediately start thinking about all of the downsides to going such as having to take a day off of work and spending money on your ticket.

Life should never be a series of opportunities that you deny yourself. Commit to saying yes to things you ultimately enjoy.

3. Master the Art of Saying No

A significant step towards learning how to live intentionally is to master the art of saying no. Obligations will come at you from every direction, and they will wear you down if you let them. But by making the intentional decision to say no to anything that will not serve you, you’ll feel lighter and more fulfilled than you ever have before.

Of course, there are limitations to this one. You simply can’t say no to everything your boss requests of you at work. But you can delegate tasks whenever possible, and you can stop being the person that always gets stuck volunteering for extra assignments.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Making self-care a priority is the backbone of intentional living. Nothing says going through the motions quite like letting yourself get burned out, used up, and worn down. Your body, your mind, and your soul all crave care, and it’s up to you to make it a priority in your life because no one else will do it for you.

Self-care is the ultimate act of love, but it needs to be done on a regular basis in order to be effective. So think beyond the bath bomb and discover whatever it is that you need at this moment to feel restored.

5. Develop a Positive Mindset

Intentional living is all about creating the life you want based on what matters most to you. And you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who thought negativity was an important part of their life. That’s why it’s so important to make the very intentional decision of developing a positive mindset.

If you’re always looking for things wrong with your life, you’re sure to find them. But if you change your mindset and start looking for the good in each situation, it will become a new habit that leaves you feeling powerful instead of downtrodden.

6. Determine Your Purpose

Without purpose, you’re destined to live your entire life on autopilot. Purpose is what gives you focus and empowers you to take action instead of just accepting whatever comes along your way.

Stop wasting years of your life taking the easy way out and doing what everyone else expects you to do. Determine your purpose for yourself and make the life changes necessary to help you accomplish whatever it is that you feel called to do.

7. Live in the Moment

Way too many people get wrapped up in things that happened in the past or things that may or may not happen in the future. Sound familiar? If you want to live a more intentional life you have to let go of regret and worry today.

Make the shift towards living in the moment and watch your entire life change for the better.

8. Consider the Consequences

Every time you decide to do something or not to do something there may be unintended consequences that you will then have to deal with. And oftentimes, these unintended consequences lead to a lot of extra strife and drama in your life.

Part of embracing an intentional lifestyle is considering these consequences before you take action so that you can enjoy a more thoughtful and peaceful life without any of the extra chaos.

9. Embrace Minimalism

A minimalist lifestyle and an intentional living lifestyle go hand in hand. Remember, intentional living is all about saying yes to things that matter and no to things that don’t matter.

So it only makes sense that you would want to rid your life, your house, your car, and your office of all of the extra stuff accumulating that mean nothing to you in order to make room for the things that matter most.

10. Live Below Your Means

People are always encouraging others to live within their means, but what I encourage you to do is live below your means.

By making the very intentional decision to spend less and save more, most of the pressure you feel due to the constant cycle of working, taking on more responsibilities, and going after promotions will disappear. And the stress over paying bills, racking up debt, and unexpected emergencies will simply evaporate.

11. Choose Your Group Wisely

The people you spend time with have a much bigger impact on your thoughts and moods than you ever could imagine. Just think of a time you were feeling pretty good and then spent time with someone who wasn’t and suddenly your whole outlook on life had changed.

Choosing your group of close family and friends is an important step in adopting an intentional lifestyle. And while that doesn’t mean you should just start cutting everyone out of your life, it does mean that you should put more thought into how often you spend time with people who impact you negatively.

12. Unplug and Unwind

The days of spending your time carefree and without interruptions are long gone. Thanks to technology, you can be reached all day every day, and the constant notifications and dings are certainly not healthy for you.

By making the intentional decision to unplug and unwind — at least some of the time — you take back your freedom and your peace of mind. And you’ll realize you don’t miss all of those unimportant social media posts anyways.

13. Practice Patience

Committing to an intentional lifestyle is going to take practice at first. Taking steps to improve every aspect of your life will not happen overnight.

So be patient with yourself. And treat yourself just as kindly as you do others.

When you choose to embark on an intentional living journey, you’re choosing not to just go with the flow anymore and wonder why things in your life are just okay. Intentional living is embracing your power and understanding that you’re the only one who has the responsibility to create the life you dream of.

Sources

• Greater Good Magazine: How to Live an Intentional Life
• Johns Hopkins Medicine: The Power of Positive Thinking
• National Center for Biotechnology Information: The Core Values that Support Health, Safety, and Well-being at Work
• Plos One: Competence and Quality in Real-Life Decision Making

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How can you start living a more intentional life? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.