Living Freely
The idea of living freely has been one of the major foundations upon which I’ve built my adult life.
Growing up in separate households after my parents’ divorce, I experienced two drastically different lifestyles that greatly affected who I am today.
In the first household, I was expected to follow strict rules, I was taught to respect adults, I was responsible for certain chores, and I was encouraged to maintain good grades. There I felt loved, I felt responsible, and I felt heard.
But I only lived in that household for a few weeks every school year and during the summers. The majority of the time, I lived across the country, and my life looked very different there.
In the second household, I was expected to obey without question, I was taught to be afraid of adults, I was responsible for everything around the house, and I was encouraged to shut up or suffer the consequences. In that same household, I felt hated, I felt like a failure, and I felt unwanted.
There’s no way to sugarcoat it, I was abused, neglected, and depressed.
Even today, I’m not sure if going back and forth between the two households made things better or worse. It certainly showed me what life could be like. But it also made it that much harder to return to the abuse in the second household after spending weeks or even months being doted on in the first.
What I can say for sure, is that no matter how you grow up, being an adult is like getting a redo.
Nowadays, I can live exactly how I want to, I can raise my children exactly how I want to, and I can build a legacy for future generations exactly how I want to.
Luckily, I realized this early on in my teenage years, and that’s what got me through the tough times. I survived, and now I can thrive.
You see, we’re not destined to suffer from emotional pain forever. We’re not destined to hide who we truly are. And we’re not destined to feel trapped in a life that we don’t even enjoy.
Life is meant to be lived freely.
When I turned eighteen, the first thing I did was get a custom tattoo drawn up and inked on my skin. I chose a dragonfly with wide-spread and colorful wings. I’m sure most people who see it think I picked something off the wall in the tattoo shop or that I just wanted something girly. But for me, I was all about putting a permanent reminder on my body to always live freely and never settle for less.
I even found myself staring at it a lot during the saddest days of my first marriage and also during the most stressful days of my divorce. I like to think it’s what gave me the courage to fly away from a situation that wasn’t good for me even when I felt terrified to spread my wings.
I chose to live freely. And I’ve been incredibly happy since I made that decision.
Several years later, while I was staring at a blank computer screen trying to come up with a tagline for this blog, I knew in my heart that ‘living freely and loving life’ made perfect sense.
Have you ever noticed how certain themes reappear throughout your lifetime?
Living freely and loving life.
Isn’t that what we all want deep down?
That’s why it’s such a shame when things arise and steal our freedom:
- We allow our past to continue to hurt us.
- We worry about things we cannot control.
- We stay in relationships that don’t meet our needs.
- We socialize with people who bring us down.
- We say yes to obligations that don’t bring us joy.
- We get trapped in jobs we hate.
- We hide our true selves to make others happy.
- We live above our means and incur debt.
- We let our physical health slide.
- We don’t prioritize our mental health.
Does this sound like living freely to you?
It sure doesn’t sound that way to me.
How to Live Freely
Wondering how to live freely in your life? Living freely is all about asking yourself the question: ‘Is this what I truly want?’
You can apply that question to every aspect of your life as it is now, but you can also ask yourself that question any time you need to make a decision in the future.
For example, after you go through several grueling interviews, have met people around the office, and you finally get a job offer, take a moment and really examine whether or not this job is even the right fit for you.
Or, if you get invited to a social gathering with your co-worker you may feel compelled to go. But, ask yourself if that’s really how you want to spend your evening and don’t be afraid to say no if you’d rather be doing something else. You don’t need to provide an explanation. It’s your time. You can do with it what you please.
Giving yourself permission to live life the way you see fit is the foundation for how to live freely.
Tips For How to Live Freely
And here are 25 tips for how to live freely and love your life:
1. Do What You Love
Life is short and, in order to live it freely, you must remember to do what you love on a consistent basis. Never put your favorite things off until later.
2. Release Expectations
We’re often our own worst enemies when it comes to setting expectations that are just too high. Release the expectations you have for yourself and the ones others have for you too.
3. Accept Who You Are
Your life is not meant to be spent appeasing others. Accept who you are as a person and make decisions that bring you happiness.
4. Make Self-Care a Habit
Your needs matter too. Make a habit of taking care of yourself and doing things that bring you peace and joy.
5. Take Care of Your Body
Your health is an incredibly important part of living freely. Take care of your body, nourish it, hydrate it, and stay active so you can be healthy enough to do whatever you wish.
6. Be Attentive to Your Mind
Your thoughts and feelings are a huge part of what makes you the person that you are. Make the effort to continuously work on your personal growth and seek professional help when necessary so that you can be the best version of yourself.
7. Surrender Control
There are many things in life that you just can’t control. Instead of obsessing and worrying, surrender control and make the best of what life presents you.
8. Let Go of the Past
Your past does not define you, and it has no bearing on your future. You can re-envision your life at any time and start a fresh new chapter. So let go of the past and let go of your regret.
9. Permit Yourself to Feel
You will never live freely if you bury negative emotions and try to ignore them. The sooner you deal with whatever you’re feeling, the sooner you will find peace again.
10. Be Proud of Who You Are
As you continue to learn and grow, be proud of who you are in this moment. You have survived many challenges and celebrated many achievements already. It’s okay to take pride in everything you’ve been through that led you to this point in your life.
11. Appreciate All Experiences
Every experience molds you into the person you’re becoming. Appreciate each lesson you learned along the way and use these experiences to live more freely than you ever have before.
12. Look for the Silver Lining
Whenever you feel hopeless, angry, or sad, look for the silver lining. There is always something positive to point out in any situation and looking for the silver lining helps you free those negative thoughts.
13. Be Open-Minded To Lessons From Others
Remember, we’re all on our own journeys in life, and we all have unique experiences, thoughts, and feelings to share. Be open-minded to lessons you may learn from others. You never know who might change your life entirely for the better.
14. Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Better
The people you spend time with will affect how you think and feel. Be intentional about surrounding yourself with people who make you better and who encourage you to live your best life ever.
15. Prioritize Quality Time With People Who Matter Most
You have a finite number of hours in a day, so prioritize spending quality time with people who matter the most to you. You will never regret making new memories with people you love.
16. Remove Your Sense of Obligation
You don’t always have to be the person who takes on extra work, who volunteers for every event, or who organizes social gatherings. Whenever you’re faced with a task that seems more like a burden than a gift, remove your innate sense of obligation from it and allow others to take the lead.
17. Learn to Say No
One of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself on your journey to living freely is to learn to say no. Don’t waste your time coming up with socially acceptable reasons why you can’t commit to something. Needing some space and time to yourself is plenty reason enough.
18. Reimagine Productivity
Being productive does not mean working yourself to exhaustion. Reimagine your idea of productivity and set aside your to-do list from time to time.
19. Disconnect
You cannot live freely by being available to other people 24/7. Make a point of disconnecting from work, your phone, and social media at least several hours per day.
20. Enjoy the Moment
Set a few internal alarm clocks throughout the day to stop what you’re doing and enjoy the moment. Watch the snowflakes fall outside, focus on the taste of your coffee, or enjoy the sound of your kids giggling in the other room.
21. Be One With Nature
Nothing makes you feel more free and alive than being out in nature. Sit outside and listen to the birds chirp, stand knee-deep in water and let the waves wash over you, or wrap yourself in a blanket and watch the sunrise.
22. Adopt a Minimalist Lifestyle
Life isn’t meant to be harried and burdensome. Slow down and live intentionally by adopting a minimalist lifestyle.
23. Place Experiences Over Possessions
Owning lots of stuff will never set you free but it will eventually weigh you down. Place experiences over material possessions and the world suddenly looks like an adventure waiting to happen.
24. Educate Yourself on Personal Finance
Don’t let debt become your greatest curse. Educating yourself on personal finance and simple investing will allow you to enjoy the sense of relief that comes with financial security.
25. Live Below Your Means
When you make a habit of living below your means, you learn to appreciate what you already have, and you create financial freedom in the process. You no longer have to feel stuck in a job that drags you down or with a partner on whom you’re financially dependent.
Learning how to live freely isn’t selfish; it’s the ultimate form of self-care. And these 25 tips for how to live freely will help you get started on your path to living a life that you get to design.
Your happiness and fulfillment are worth it. I promise you that.
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What can you do to start living a freer lifestyle? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
I cannot emphasize how true and wonderful this post is. It’s sensible, relatable, and amazing point of view <3 thanks for sharing this. I agree with you. Nice post! <3
You are so kind. I’m glad it resonated with you.
You never realize how living freely can be so hard! I worry about thinks I can’t change constantly and it’s such a bad habit. Thank you for sharing this!!
I had the same habit for a long time too. In fact, I do revert back to it from time to time. But recognizing you do these things helps break the habit so you are on your way.
This is great, self-care and self-love is so important! Thank you for sharing 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.
Really great post! It’s so important to take care of your self! I’m so glad you are now in a better place!
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
Wow… This was very timely + encouraging, Brooke. I’ve been under some stress recently + this post made me realize that a lot of the stress is self-inflicted! Thank you for the gentle reminder. I have some changes to make.
That’s so good to hear because it means you have control over it. Best of luck in making the changes you need to be a happier, more peaceful you.
I think living freely can be tough, especially at the moment 🙂 I think looking for the silver lining is a great tip, especially when it comes to thinking about the current situation in a positive light. By letting go of negativity I think I’ve found a little acceptance and can live more freely x
You are not wrong. It is incredibly more difficult to live freely since the pandemic. And staying positive is the ticket to staying happier even during these challenging times.
I seriously love this! Number 2 is something that I’m still working on, expectations on other people which is seriously not the right way to go about life anyway. Thank you for listing all of these down, I’ll have to bookmark it or write it down on my journal as reminders. Thank you again!
I’m so glad you found it helpful. I refer back to it myself.
I love this so much! There’s something to be said about being able to live in your truth, be proud of yourself & do what you love!
You said it beautifully.
Your life experience and the 25 steps you describe to live freely are motivating. These steps are not only good for getting started and starting to live freely, they are also a reminder to stay the course and not fall back into a restrictive life. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words. You make such a great point about not falling backward.
This is a wonderful post! Living freely is so important. So many of us spend our lives trying to live up to other peoples expectations. We never stop to ask ourselves if this is what we truly want? I love your suggestions, especially 11. Appreciate All Experiences. I know sometimes I struggle with this one. It can be difficult to appreciate the experiences that we feel are negative. Personally, I rail against them, but if I can stop and take a step back, there is usually a lesson in it for me and that experience tends to move me forward along my journey.
Thanks for sharing these great tips!!
You’re right, it is so hard to appreciate negative experiences in the moment. But with time and clarity, we can retrain our thoughts to appreciate them as lessons. Thanks for reading.
It’s such an insightful and heartfelt post. You are right, start saying ‘No” to things that are bringing more burden than relief.
So sorry you suffered as a child and later went through a divorce., nevertheless, your resilience is admirable.
Thanks for sharing your own experience with us.
Sara xx
Thank you so much. We all have difficult life experiences and you’re absolutely right about it making us resilient in the end.
Living freely is so important. It’s authentic and has a common thread of being at peace. Living freely for me, at this stage of my life, is about getting out of my own way and I am the one putting up roadblocks (for various reasons/circumstances). I’m working on living freely again and these tips are really helpful — thank you for sharing!
Yes! Getting out of your own way is a huge step towards living more freely.
Lovely post! I think at this stage I’m still trying to figure out what living freely really means for me. I’ve struggled for years to find a job I don’t hate going to, I spent so long trying to please other people that I forgot to look at what I want! Saving this post to look over and make some small changes to hopefully start a journey to living more freely! Thanks for sharing your experiences!
You’ve got this! Start small and work on one step at a time. You’ll be amazed how much better you feel every day.
This is a deep post with a lot to unpack. I don’t think that can be done in a comment. Living freely is so complex and covers so many areas in life but you’ve given a lot of really great examples of how we can start living more freely. And sorry to hear about your abusive situation x
Thank you so much. It was definitely not the childhood I would have picked, but I’m so thankful for how it shaped me. And it made me a much better parent to my own kids.
I enjoyed reading your post. I admire your courage to share your story, it really inspired me. It’s true that living freely is knowing what you truly want. Thank you for sharing your tips especially the #2, release expectations. I think that’s what I need to do to live freely. 💕
It’s so cool that you recognized which one you need to work on so quickly. You are on the right path already.
Talk about a meaningful post. While it breaks my heart to hear what your life has looked like in the past, I’m glad that you have found joy now in living freely and expressing yourself in this way. It’s important to find that joy and sometimes it takes a lot of rollercoaster moments and really horrible experiences to get there, but as long as you get there, that’s what matters. Great tips too! Thankful for this!
You are so right. What really matters is that we get there someday. We all have our challenges but they make us stronger in the end. Thanks for reading!
Wow thanks for sharing your own personal story, very inspiring. And these tips are spot on. I was reading them and agreeing with each one out loud!
That’s so great to hear! I’m glad you found meaning in each one.
Really detailed post on how to live freely. It’s so important that we get to live our lives freely doing what we want and what makes us happy and the tips you shared are so helpful in making us to live a life we love freely.
I agree! We waste far too much time keeping others happy when we should prioritize our own happiness first.
That’s such an inspiring story behind your dragonfly tattoo. And these are wonderful prompts for all of us to begin living freely. The one that resonates most with me is, “Our life is not meant to be spent appeasing others.” But they’re all so good, thank you for sharing this post. x
I’m so happy you enjoyed it. Thank you for your kind comments.
This was such an interesting read! I am sorry to hear you had to pass so many years in an abusive situation but glad you came out of it and can enjoy a better life. So many of the advices resonate with me. I will surely need to learn to say no and to surround myself with people that make me feel better. Thanks for sharing x
That’s great! Those are great ways to get started.