How to Really Enjoy the Holidays With Your Family This Year

Enjoy the Holidays

It’s that time of year again. The holidays are upon us and believe it or not, you can actually enjoy the holidays with your family this year while leaving all of the stress behind you.

Just typing this, I’m envisioning platters of mouth-watering food and glasses of good wine dancing before my eyes. And I know I have a lot of laughter and memory-making ahead of me too.

Nowadays, I love spending the holidays with my friends and family. But to be perfectly honest, it wasn’t always that way.

Just like everything else in life, you have to work hard at building the relationships you want with the people you love the most.

And because my focus wasn’t always on my relationships in the past, I used to allow the holidays to completely overwhelm me.

Have you ever felt that way? I’ll bet you have.

At first, I’d feel really excited to see everyone.

But then I’d get wrapped up in baking, cookie exchanges, buying and wrapping gifts, watching my savings account dwindle, and worrying that everyone would notice that I’d gained weight.

And all the while I’d feel my anxiety level rising because so many people were talking to me all at once.

I couldn’t take it anymore!

It was just all too much to deal with.

The fun and joy of the holiday season would completely disappear under the weight of my ever-growing to-do list and personal insecurities. And I’d find myself physically and mentally exhausted instead of feeling refreshed and joyful like I should have felt.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Eventually, I realized that it’s relationships that really matter.

So I stopped adding so many obligations to my calendar and putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect.

And that’s when I actually started enjoying the holidays and the time I spent with the people I love most.

I can’t believe how big of an impact that tiny shift made on my mental health during the holiday season.

And who wouldn’t want that?

So today, I’m sharing my best tips so that you actually start enjoying the holidays more too.

This is your year to invest more time and energy into your relationships instead of wasting it all on the pointless tasks and worrying we so often do this time of year.

Let’s get started.

How to Enjoy the Holidays

These 7 tips are sure to help you focus on the positive and learn how to enjoy the holidays this season and every season after that:

1. Remember How Great You Are

No matter what anyone else says, you’re an amazing person with many unique gifts that you share with the world. If other people in your life aren’t able to recognize that, the problem is theirs alone.

Hold your head up high and be confident.

You’ve had countless life experiences that have shaped who you are at this stage in your life, and you’re the only one in the world who knows exactly what type of person you truly are.

For example, with a hundred percent certainty, I know that one of my family members will comment on my weight during the holidays, some of them think I make great life choices, while others think I definitely don’t, and I know at least one person is still very judgmental about my divorce which happened almost five years ago.

But here’s the thing, I’m an adult and I don’t need their approval. I’m proud of all of my accomplishments, I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned from my failures, and I’m excited to see what comes next.

Remember, we all have friends or family members that judge us. Choose to love them anyway.

Choose to smile and nod instead of getting defensive and letting it ruin your whole day. Choose to remind yourself that if people are so invested in your life that they feel the need to discuss it with you or even with others, then ultimately it’s because they care. Choose to let the little things go, and you’ll have a lot more joy in your heart. And choose to be a person who loves and accepts others unconditionally even if sometimes you feel like you’re the only one.

Never let anyone dull your holiday sparkle. You know just how great you are and that’s all that matters.

2. Don’t Overcommit Yourself

Raise your hand high if you’re a type-A personality like I am.

We overdo everything. We compete constantly. We demand perfection always. We take on everything. And we’re on the go non-stop.

But what works great in school and business, doesn’t work well when you’re supposed to be slowing down and enjoying the holidays with the people you love.

The only person competing over whose house is cleaner, whose dish is the most delicious, and whose dessert is the most decadent is you. Everyone else is eating, drinking, and being merry, while you’re running around killing yourself with stress over things that no one else even notices. So stop it.

Tidy your house, but don’t make it look like no one lives there. Cook something you love or go out and buy it, but don’t prepare the most complicated recipe you can find. And choose where you want to spend the day, don’t drive from one house to another to another strictly out of obligation to see everyone.

This is your holiday too. Spend it exactly the way you want to without taking on so many commitments that it zaps all the fun out of it.

3. Start Your Own Traditions

The way you celebrate the holidays will very likely change throughout your life. How cool is that?

Traditions can be really fun and bring you so much joy as you reminisce about all of the holidays you’ve shared as a family. But they can also add a tremendous amount of stress to your life, which you should definitely avoid at all costs.

Just because you were raised to always do something one way, doesn’t mean that you have to continue to do it that way indefinitely. This is your holiday too, so figure out how you like to celebrate and do it that way.

When Elf on the Shelf really gained popularity a few years ago, my children were little and probably would have really enjoyed it, but I had zero interest in starting that tradition. All I saw was a ton of extra work for me, coming up with a million ideas to stage elf scenes, and inevitably having to clean it all up later.

It held zero appeal to me, and that’s okay. I didn’t have to do it just because everyone else around me was.

Then, my fiance asked me last year if we could start the tradition of hiding a pickle ornament on our tree and providing a prize to whoever found it first. And I jumped at that one.

I love pickles. If you invite me into your house and you have a full jar of pickles in your refrigerator, you won’t by the time I leave. I just can’t help myself.

Seriously though, we bought a pickle ornament and my kids loved it. We purposely bought a craft kit that they could do together no matter who found the pickle ornament and excitement was high as they both raced to find it.

The best part of our new tradition was that my daughter found it the first year, accidentally dropped it, and it shattered everywhere. As tears welled up in both of their eyes, my fiance wisely yelled out that she made the tradition even cooler and from now on, whoever finds the pickle first has to smash it.

It totally worked, and both kids started laughing so hard they forgot to cry. So, choose whatever traditions bring you joy, even if you make them up on the spot, and eliminate those that don’t.

4. Eat in Moderation

Don’t overeat. We’ve all been there and done that, and it doesn’t feel good. Nothing ruins your holiday mood faster than a stomach ache and acid reflux.

So, slow down and be intentional about how much you eat. Even better, you won’t feel inclined to set an unobtainable weight-loss goal as soon as the new year rolls around either.

5. Drink in Moderation

See comments above.

Nothing ruins your holiday mood faster than realizing you’re slurring your words and saying things you definitely shouldn’t be saying.

So, slow down and be intentional about how much you drink. You’ll thank yourself the next morning too.

6. Buy in Moderation

Fancy nut mixes, expensive chocolates, and presents are fun. Do you know what’s even more fun? Not having credit card debt.

Holidays can be just as enjoyable without emptying your bank accounts. You literally don’t need to buy everything holiday-related that you see.

That also goes for everything pumpkin spice flavored. Am I right?

Be an example to others that responsible financial decision-making is the new ‘standing in long lines at four in the morning and getting nudged by massive crowds just to find out the store only stocked one of everything’.

Just think about how much you’ll hate yourself in January when the bills come rolling in if you go overboard now.

7. Avoid Bringing Up Controversial Topics

Thanksgiving is not the time to tell your parents you’re getting your entire face tattooed, and the winter holidays are not the time to take a poll on who likes the current President.

Leave those topics for the next day when you don’t have a house full of people who just want to relax and enjoy your company without getting dragged into a heated argument.

Instead, keep the conversation light by retelling funny stories, sharing memories, and letting people know just how much they mean to you.

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How do you make sure you enjoy the holidays? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.